


The Element of Surprise

by Wolfqng



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Special Never Happens, F/M, Multi, and kala's so confused, post-season one, wolfgang is broody af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-09-25 08:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9810794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfqng/pseuds/Wolfqng
Summary: He swore he could taste the sweetness of chai tea in his tongue. There, from the darkness of his apartment in Berlin, Wolfgang actually thought he could hear the ever so familiar buzz of a restaurant, and the painful clench in his chest was almost as unbearable as the tingling sensation of hope building in his stomach. Kalagang - set three months after the end of season one





	1. Of Broken Hearts and Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, and I do not own Sense8 or any of the characters portrayed in this story.

 

He swore he could taste the sweetness of chai tea in his tongue.

There, from the darkness of his apartment in Berlin, lying on his dirty and uncomfortable couch with his eyes examining the dark spots on the ceiling beyond his head, Wolfgang actually thought he could hear the ever so familiar buzz of a restaurant, the constant conversation and clatter of forks and knives on ceramic echoing in the background, and the painful clench in his chest was almost as unbearable as the tingling sensation of hope building in his stomach.

His eyes remained trained on a particularly large, uneven brownish spot right at the center of his line of vision, the undeniable desire to look around adding to the uneasiness in his heart.

It had been a while since he'd last visited- been _allowed_ to visit, that is- and yet Wolfgang still found the memories quite vivid in his mind.

It was all he had for a while after all. Memories. A recollection of facts and random images of bustling streets and a warm bed and curly dark hair. He found he'd rather replay those thoughts to himself for as long as they would last; try to keep them alive in his imagination seeing as reality would never replace the comfort his fantasies could provide him.

And that was exactly what they were; mere fantasies. Fragments of his story with her, projections of the future and the 'what could have been's'.

Wolfgang sighed.

He figured he must have been summoned for a reason. She'd been avoiding him for weeks, perhaps even months. This couldn't have been coincidental. Not when it concerned Kala and her unbelievable self-control.

He slowly rose from the couch, snorting at the fact that his room could at the same time smell like mould and fresh baked goods.

The surroundings weren't unfamiliar. Wolfgang could see the table he usually sat at from where he stood at the entrance of the small indian restaurant in Mumbai and could smell the scent of freshly brewed coffee. His eyes kept searching his surroundings stubbornly, looking for a glimpse of curly, vanilla scented hair and kind doe eyes he so loved.

_Love_...

Had it really developed into that? How? From what he could remember, neither one of them had ever made any mention of the word.

Funny how blurry the lines got when it came to their feelings for each other.

Wolfgang approached his usual spot, and still there was no sign of her. He sat at that same table, turned away from the entrance and allowing himself to enjoy the simplicity of just sitting somewhere and not having to worry about anything.

He'd been on the run for three months now, and the emotional and physical baggage that came with it was beginning to take its toll on him. His knuckles still showed reddish bruises, and the few ribs he'd broken might heal with time, but he suspected they'd never feel the same as before. There were also a few scratches on his face and plenty of purple marks along his legs and torso.

All in all, he was just glad to be alive. The streets of Mumbai provided him with some much needed warmth as opposed to the coldness of Berlin and there was an inevitable spark of hope growing inside his chest.

And suddenly there it was, the funny clench on his stomach; the feeling that his chest couldn't contain whatever it was that wanted out. A gush of air brushed his hair, the smell of vanilla and spice making him take a deep breath.

He wasn't sure he was ready to face her yet. Wasn't sure she actually wanted to see him either. Things were messy between them; _messier_ , that is. There was always a bump in the road, an obstacle neither of them thought they could jump over.

The thought alone of being apart from her was enough torture, though.

There was movement in front of him; dark skin and hair catching his attention, deep brown eyes observing him as she sat down at the other end of the table.

Then there was silence. Torturing, heavy silence. Wolfgang was having trouble thinking of something to say. Would his _'I'm sorry'_ sound as superficial spoken out loud as it did in his head?

"How are you?" he asked instead, his voice raspy from disuse. _Did you miss me?_

Kala sighed and cleaned her throat uncomfortably.

"I'm... Fine," she sniffed, avoiding his eyes at all cost. Her voice was quiet- shy, almost- but the hint of an indian accent on her words nearly had him smiling. He placed his entwined hands between the both of them over the table, tilting his head so he could try and see behind the curtain of hair falling on her face and hiding her eyes. "You?" she raised her right hand to tuck a strand of curly hair behind her ear, looking at him even though her head remained held down.

"Same..." he mumbled miserably, his shoulders slumping as he suddenly took interest in one of the worn out tiles in the nearest wall. Kala looked around, her face emotionless when in reality her chest could barely contain the fast beating of her heart. She motioned for a waiter, asking for the usual and missing Wolfgang's soft smile at her request.

"Still into tea, I see" he said when the man came back with a cup of chai and a biscuit.

"It helps me relax." _Helps me concentrate on my anger instead of on the smell of your cologne._

He watched as she fumbled with the white mug, the silvery material of her wedding band shining on her ring finger and his heart dropped.

He hadn't forgotten about Rajan. Of course not. He'd just thought that maybe... Maybe what? _Maybe she'd broken things off?_

Wolfgang frowned, unable to look away from her fingers. Kala realised this, slowly jerking her hand away and hiding it under the table, an uncomfortable expression on her face.

It felt awkward between them. That connection that had once felt so natural now seemed to be fading away; a constant reminder that good times were long since gone, the future seeming darker now than it had when they were all running away from danger.

There was a small 'click' at the back of their heads, and before they could do anything, Wolfgang's balcony fell into view. During their short conversation he'd apparently moved from the couch to the back of his apartment, though he'd been so engulfed in his and Kala's exchange he'd barely noticed the change of environment.

Wolfgang let out a small snort at the thought of her being there. He was used to calling it a 'balcony', but it was really just a door that led to the back of the building; a privileged view to his neighbours' windows. From the third floor of his apartment they could see a few windows below, where someone was cooking and another person's TV was shining through the closed window. He sighed. At least it would distract them from that previous awkwardness back at the restaurant.

Little droplets of water engulfed them, the rain wetting their faces; a chilly wind ruffling Kala's long hair and making her hug her own body in an attempt to keep it warm. It felt an awful lot like that one time she visited him at that cafe in Berlin, though things seemed to be much different now.

Wolfgang had an instinctive urge to wrap his own arms around hers, but thought better of it.

"Why is Berlin always so cold?" Kala said with a little gasp, her eyes finding his for a split second and then proceeding to wander elsewhere.

"You get used to it with time," he offered meekly. Wolfgang was trying hard to think of a way to bring the 'they' subject without sounding too desperate, which was exactly how he was feeling at that moment. He scoffed and shook his head. "This is ridiculous."

"What is?" she asked absent mindedly, still looking around.

"This" he pointed at the both of them and heard Kala sigh deeply. She wasn't too eager to get into that subject. In fact, she want even sure why she'd let him in again in the first place. Maybe because she was tired of the dreadful feeling on the pitch of her stomach that came with the idea of unfinished business, and wanted to end it once and for all. _Or maybe I've just been too distracted by the image of his face plaguing my mind to actually worry about blocking our connection_.

"Yes..." she finally looked at him. "Yes it is."

"Look, Kala..." Wolfgang began, not really sure what he wanted to say but taking the chance anyway.

"Please don't," she turned towards him in one swift motion, her now soaked hair sending little droplets of water flying towards his face, tickling his skin as they ran down his cheek.

"We need to _talk_ ," he pleaded, turning fully towards her too, one of his hands gripping the metal rail beside him and the other tucked deep inside the pocket of his jeans.

"There is nothing to talk about!" she raised her voice and immediately regretted it, looking around to check if anyone was looking at her. Kala got up from the table they'd been sitting at in Mumbai abruptly, her legs moving up the stairs and towards her room even though her body remained still in Berlin. She closed the door with a thud, Wolfgang only barely managing to hold on to the fading connection at the back of his head. It was all so quick he almost didn't notice the boxes scattered around the place, Kala's belongings safely tucked away and waiting for the moving van to take them to her new house. _With her new husband_ \- "I've been avoiding you for a reason, you know?" she finally continued, scoffing and shaking her hands in front of her in exasperation and claiming back his attention. "Two _months_ , Wolfgang. Two months in which you simply disappeared from the map and I could barely _sleep_. It got to the point that I had to excuse myself from work because I couldn't think straight! And now, after ignoring me for all that time, you come here wanting to _talk?"_ Kala sighed deeply, and it came to Wolfgang that he'd never seen her so angry. Then again, on the other hand, Kala had never seen him so broken.

Yes, she was mad at him, but she couldn't help but feel guilty as soon as those words left her mouth and his shoulders slumped, the evident self-hatred he'd most likely been dealing with during the time they'd been apart seemingly resurfacing.

She suddenly felt the urge to touch his face.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled almost inaudibly, looking down in shame and tucking the hand that had previously been on the rail into his other pocket. He looked defeated. The true consequences of his actions had finally dawned on him, and Wolfgang wanted nothing more than to be able to make her forget. Forget about all the things he'd done; about all the nights she'd spent awake with bloodshot eyes and her heart in her hands. Mostly, he wished he could make her forget about him entirely.

_Just how much easier would her life have been if she hadn't gotten to know me in the first place?_

Kala must have heard his thoughts echoing in her own head because in a moment she was wrapping her arms around him; to hell with all her resolve to stay as far away from him as she could.

The minute her hands found his back she felt his muscles tense. For a moment, Kala actually thought he would back away from her arms, but he seemed to relax immediately after that. His arms sneaked around her waist and he joined his hands at the small of her back, relishing on the feel of her skin in his even though he knew they weren't essentially in the same place.

"I'm so sorry... Kala, I-" Wolfgang began, but couldn't get himself to finish the sentence. He feared he'd finally break for good; expose himself even further than he already had, and he didn't want her to see anymore of what he stored within. No matter how much good she tried to look for in him, Wolfgang knew there was only so much she'd find before ugly things started to surface. His heart was as dirty as his hands, after all.

"Shh," she whispered and he let his head rest on her shoulder, his nose pressed firmly against her neck and they both shivered. She started moving her hands up and down the back of his soaked shirt, her fingers dancing through his spine, then his neck, then his hair. Her touch was electricity; a violent wave that shook through his bones and awakened all of his darkest desires.

He wasn't sure he wanted them awakened. There were things within himself that should never be unleashed.

It didn't matter at the end though, because as soon as he lifted his head and their eyes met, all that was left of their resolve seemed to completely melt.

Suddenly his face was too close, enough for the tips of their noses to touch and their breaths to mingle. Then his hand started caressing the curve of her waist, the small of her back, and there was nothing left for Kala to do except to finally join their lips.

His hands tightened slightly on her skin as soon as their mouths met, bringing her closer as a consequence. The kiss was sloppy at first, their wet mouths and noses clashing with hunger and desperation. It had been too long since they'd last seen each other, and for some reason it felt like they didn't have much time left.

Then it stated growing teasing, his tongue darting out to slowly run along her lips, his teeth pulling at the flesh of her mouth. Kala then finally beckoned him access to her tongue, and suddenly her taste was engulfing him; devouring him.

He backed her into the brick wall closest to the door, his body pressing against her and providing the both of them with some much needed friction.

The rain was still falling above them, but they didn't seem to mind the cold drops of water dripping over their heads.

Kala was the first to pull away, her hands still gripping the hair at the back of his head; her body never really breaking contact with his as she slowly turned her face. Her eyes were still closed in pure bliss, her right cheek resting against his as he drew little circles at her waist with his thumbs.

They were both breathing heavily, drops of water dripping down their noses and hair; chests rubbing together one heave after the other.

It was a delicious sensation. Kala wished it could last forever, but that previous uneasiness was back to torment her, and this time it wasn't because of his presence.

"We shouldn't have done this," she breathed but made no motion to move away from him at all. Wolfgang simply hummed in response, too wrapped up in the feeling of finally having her in his arms again to give thought to anything else. Then Kala opened her eyes, and it all came crashing down with it. Wolfgang suddenly felt a painful pang in his chest, but couldn't really tell if those were his emotions or her own. "We shouldn't have _done_ this," she moved away so quickly he didn't even have time to think of anything.

"Kala, don't do this," he turned around to the entrance of his apartment, following her into the living room and trying to get her to stay still.

"I-... " she let out a breath through her parted lips, wide eyes looking at him with unshed tears as she slowly shook her head. "I'm sorry," his heart sank. Wolfgang knew what was coming. "I can't do this," her voice was muffled by the sound of the heavy rain tapping on the windows.

He moved forward; tried to grab her hand, get her to understand the depth of his feelings for her, beg her not to leave him.

Her small sob echoed through the room, hitting him with an unbearable pain; mocking him and his inability to hold onto anything good in his life.

She was gone.

 


	2. Mind over Matter

Kala hid her hands up her long sleeves, pinching them so her fingers were safely tucked inside her sweatshirt; warm and cozy.

Her gaze wandered around the still unfurnished living room, the cardboard boxes containing her belongings piled one on top of the other and making her sigh from her place in the middle of the room.

It was early evening in Mumbai, the punishing sun that had been hovering over the city during the day now barely visible beyond the horizon. The moon was starting to show behind the puffy white clouds, accompanied by a hot breeze that came in through the windows and ruffled Kala's hair and clothes. Somehow, she was still feeling cold.

She'd chosen to wear a particularly vibrant yellow knitted sweater that day, its sleeves rolled up to her elbows and paired up with white pants and simple black flats with ankle straps, all of which absolutely screamed happiness and joy. She'd been under the illusion that perhaps if she appeared happy, the sadness that had been washing over her would finally dissipate.

Needless to say, she was wrong.

Another sigh erupted from her lips as she slowly moved a few boxes from the kitchen isle to the second floor.

Her new house was— in a lack of a better word— _spacious_. The living room was almost as big as her family's entire flat above the restaurant, something she definitely wasn't used to. The front lawn was packed with bushes after bushes of white gardenias, its pathway leading to the grandioseness that was the two-story house in the same color as the flowers. At the back, sliding glass doors gave way to an even bigger patio, the pristine water of the swimming pool reflecting a mixture of oranges and purples from the sunset. The second floor was as imposing as the first one, and even held it's own tiny kitchen - so they wouldn't have to go down the stairs in the middle of the night, the realtor had explained, which in all honesty had made no sense to Kala.

Rajan had spared no expenses, using and abusing of his father's fortune as if there was no tomorrow. Kala knew he was a good man at heart and was probably under the impression that all of those things would certainly please her, but it was just too much.

Their new house was gigantic, but its walls seemed to close in on her like a prison.

Kala left the boxes she'd been holding beside the door to one of the bedrooms, moving silently and with uncertainty towards the master bedroom. Ever since they'd bought the house, she'd been weary when it came to stepping inside _their_ room.

Something about it made her chest clench painfully; a kind of pain she was afraid she would be getting used to.

There was nothing inside apart from a large king sized bed and a few holes in the wall opposite to it, where the TV would be set up. The walls were painted a light grey, and she had a feeling no matter what she did, the room would never become as inviting and cozy as her previous one.

She walked silently towards the bed, sitting on its edge and fingering the white sheets spread over it in order to keep it from getting dusty during their relocation.

It felt wrong to be in that house when she was battling so intensely with her own feelings. Even more so when she found herself thinking of blond hair and blue eyes; a flash of black leather and the smell of bitter, dark coffee.

He was under her skin, there was no denying it.

Kala sniffed, joining her hands over her lap and looking down as if in shame; and perhaps she was. She couldn't help but feel terrible whenever her head projected his face, a smile she knew was directed particularly at her growing on his features and making the little wrinkles on his eyes appear. Kala almost smiled at the thought of it, but immediately stopped herself.

"A penny for your thoughts...?" A voice she knew oh so well came from beside her, and Kala drew a shaky breath as she registered the pool of blonde hair sitting beside her on the bed.

"Nomi," she gasped, embracing her own arms before looking down again. "I wasn't expecting anyone to visit today."

The blonde adjusted her glasses on her nose, "You know that's not how the bond works..." she said softly, trying to look past the curtain of black hair covering Kala's face.

"Why me, then?"

"I don't know," Nomi replied honestly, because at this point all eight of them knew lying to each other wouldn't really work. "I guess we were both anguished in some way."

Kala finally looked up. "What happened?", she frowned, worry speaking louder than anything else. Nomi smiled slightly at that.

"I'm just a little worried about Amanita," she admitted quietly, her voice disappearing inside the grandiosity of the house surrounding them. "All my life I've been running from all sorts of people. This is the first time since Whispers that I've actually managed to sleep," Nomi's clear brown eyes locked with chocolate ones, and Kala felt a pang of shame run through her because her problems had seemed so entirely big to her, when there were people out there— her _friends—_ going through much worse. "Amanita is the _only one_ who'd ever risk so much to be with me. I'm afraid she might be sacrificing too much for a cause she doesn't even understand..."

Kala wasn't sure what to say to that, so she simply placed a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder, hoping she was making it better, if only a little bit. What it meant to love someone so deeply that they let go of everything just to get a little bit in return was something Kala was afraid she'd never understand, but something she admired in Nomi and Amanita's relationship. Regardless, she felt for her friend, and wished there was something she could do to help.

Nomi seemed to realize this, because she shifted under Kala's hand, sighing before looking at her. "But enough about me. Tell me what's been bothering you," she said, though Kala could tell Nomi already knew what she was going to say.

Instead, she looked around them. The night had fallen while she'd been too busy talking to her friend to notice, and they'd been left in the darkness except for the silvery light of the moon. "I don't like this house," she said quietly, because the room was silent enough that their breaths could be heard over the ruffling of the treetops outside. "It holds nothing valuable to me despite all my things being downstairs," and it didn't. She'd brought her old vanity from her previous room, and the little paintings her mother had gifted her from the artisan fair that happened every Sunday, but it’d offered her no consolation of any form whatsoever. “It's imprisoning, somehow.” 

“I know,” Nomi looked down. “I feel it too… Because of the bond, I mean,” she looked back at Kala questioningly. “What are you going to do?” she inquired, and there was an understanding between them. There was no need to explain what she was asking.

“I'm not sure…” Kala answered truthfully, then sighed. “It's not like I have much of a choice.”

This time, when Nomi looked at her, her face was stern. “You always have a choice, Kala,” she said seriously, looking wiser than she ever had in Kala’s eyes. “It's just up to you to do something about it.”

 ...  


_“Sheisse,”_ Wolfgang frowned, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking distinctive and out of place in the wealthier part of Berlin.

He looked behind him and over his shoulder, the unsettling feeling of being followed making his blood pound in his ears; his hands coming to hold his jacket closer to his body and his head hiding further into the hood of the sweater he wore underneath it.

The streets were empty save from the few pedestrians on the sidewalk, and Wolfgang tried to mingle with the crowd that ran to catch the last bus of the evening. It was past nine o’clock, and he’d been in the middle of closing a deal with one of his richest contacts when the nagging feeling of being watched started creeping up his back.

Things had been going pretty smoothly the past month, and he couldn’t shake the thought that something bad was going to happen at any given moment. He’d been careful not to leave anything behind wherever he went, but the unsettlement in his mind was still there when he woke up and carried on with him until he went to sleep.

Wolfgang arrived home at precisely ten in the evening. He unlocked the door to his apartment feeling tired and drained, and stopped by the kitchen to grab a beer before throwing himself on the couch, only half-aware of the presence beside him until she spoke.

“You’ve been shutting me out all day,” Kala said, and Wolfgang jumped slightly in surprise.

“You've sort of been avoiding me as well, you know,” he retorted. They hadn’t spoken ever since she'd left after their argument, only seeing each other briefly within the past week. He wanted to say he’d only been avoiding her because there were things he didn’t want her to see, but had a feeling she already knew that, and that it would only make things worse.

She remained silent after that and he found he didn’t have anything else to say either, so Wolfgang just took another gulp of his beer, avoiding eye contact at all cost and hoping she’d leave soon, because he couldn’t _stand_ being right next to her and not being allowed to touch her.

“I'm sorry,” he mumbled after quite some time, not even sure if she was still there to listen. He heard her sigh beside him, and looked down at his hands on his lap.

Her voice came out even quieter. “I'm sorry too,” she said when he looked up and their eyes met. She was biting her lip hesitatingly, and Wolfgang imagined for a fleeting moment what it would be like to trace her mouth with his fingers. “I've been thinking a lot… About life, and happiness,” she began, and Wolfgang felt that same spark of hope she seemed to bring with her wherever she went growing inside him. “And I realised that I can’t be happy without you.” he stiffened considerably, only moving to be completely face to face with her. “But I’m married, and I have made a vow; to God, and to my husband, and to myself, and that is a vow I can’t break,” she admitted, still looking at him, and he felt his heart sink. Hearing her words felt much worse than taking a bullet, and that he’d taken many.

“I understand,” he stated. But he didn’t— not really— and she knew that as much as he did. Wolfgang returned to his previous position, his beer suddenly tasting more sour than it had before as he placed the empty bottle on the floor in front of him. “I'll leave you alone,” he said roughly, and saw her shake her head from the corner of his eyes.

“You never let me finish,” Kala reprimanded, scooting closer to him and taking his hand in hers. Wolfgang remained stiff as a rock, but still looked at her when she lifted his hand to her chest, a hint of a smile on her face. “I may not be able to give you anything more, but I still want your friendship,” she said, but he merely kept staring at her with sharp eyes, “If you’re willing to give me that.”

Wolfgang sighed, because that was exactly what he’d been avoiding. He wanted _her-_ all of her. But she couldn’t give him that and he’d already accepted having to live without her.

But now she was asking for his friendship, and Wolfgang knew- he fucking _knew-_ that he wouldn’t be capable of that. Capable of seeing her everyday and not being allowed to touch her; of being close to her and having to live with the unbearable ache in his heart because she wasn’t fucking his.

He _knew_ it, but the lie that came out of his mouth sounded truthful even to him.

“I am.”

She smiled slowly, and if his expression or the bond gave any indication that he hadn't been honest, she didn’t show it; just pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. Wolfgang’s hands sneaked around her waist, and he embraced her like it was the last time he’d ever see her again, because part of him— the part that wanted more— was actually really saying goodbye.

Kala looked at him again and smiled brightly. She seemed happy for the first time in weeks— _months_ even— and in that moment he decided that he would take it. Whatever it was that she was willing to give him… He was going to accept it, however painful that might be.

  
...

  
“Kala, Rajan is here!” her mother called in a sing-song voice a few hours later, and Kala smiled slightly at herself. She finished brushing her hair and took one last look at herself in the mirror before leaving her room to greet her husband.

She’d been living with Rajan at his parents’ house until they could move to their new home, and had been paying a visit to her own family when her mother decided dinner would be the perfect way to celebrate the end of renovations.

Her husband was sitting in one of the restaurant's large tables when she arrived, and stood up immediately to greet her with a kiss to her forehead. Kala addressed his parents politely, and they all sat again to eat.

Kala’s father had cooked his special Biryani recipe, and the room smelled distinctively of spices and roasted meat.

“So, has Kala told you the wonderful news?” Rajan’s mother beamed before taking a forkful of food into her mouth, and Kala felt the urge to cringe when her parents looked at her expectantly from their place at the table.

“We were waiting until everyone was reunited to talk about it,” Rajan answered for her, smiling charmingly as he rubbed her back and pulled her closer by the shoulder. “We’re going to Italy for our honeymoon,” he announced with pride in his voice, and Kala smiled a bit as her mother clapped in delight.

The trip was scheduled for the fifth of August, and would last until the thirteenth, which meant Kala would be spending her birthday abroad. They’d be going to both Venice and Positano, and Rajan had booked them the most expensive hotels and plane tickets on the market, all despite her protests.

“And I don’t suppose there’s room for one more?” her father joked, and the whole table roared with laughter.

Kala was watching the casual banter between her father and husband when she saw movement in the corner of her eye. The restaurant was silent apart from her family’s voices, but there was noise coming from somewhere else, and her ears perked up.

“Kala, would you take the wine out of the freezer, darling?” her father asked, and she excused herself with other intentions in mind. Her feet carried her towards the kitchen, but she walked right past it and instead moved outside the house.

There was someone talking, and she felt a tinge of excitement at the realisation that it was Wolfgang’s voice. His apartment came into view, and she walked silently towards the bedroom door.

There was a smile on her face as she stepped into the room; one that immediately faltered when she saw that it was Wolfgang alright, but he was not alone.

A blond woman stood right in front of him, his arms circling her waist as she giggled drunkly and undid the buttons of his shirt. He seemed to look at her with undeniable want in his eyes, capturing her lips hungrily and groaning when she wriggled out of her skirt.

Kala stood in the doorway for a moment, silently watching, feeling her chest clench in a mixture of pain and sadness and _something_ as he and the woman stumbled into bed, attacking each other’s mouths _._ Then she turned around, went back into her kitchen and took the wine out of the freezer, her hands gripping the bottle so forcefully that her fingers were white and ice cold when she let go of it.

She was angry, and hated her own self for it, because no matter what she tried to tell herself, it was her that had caused this. _She_ had been the one to put an end to it— to _them_ — and she had no right to feel like this— whatever it was that she was feeling.

“Everything okay?” her husband asked when she returned, and she looked at him for a good few seconds, contemplating his question.

Then she nodded fiercely and— hopefully— convincingly, felling as though there was a knot in her throat when she answered, voice small and shaky, “Never been better.”

Later that night, when Rajan held her face in his hands to kiss her lips gently as he bid her goodnight, Kala couldn’t help melting into his embrace, trying to shut down any other thoughts from her head and leaning into his very nice kiss that didn’t make her feel half as good as Wolfgang’s did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here’s chapter two! I’m sorry for making you guys wait too much, but I got pretty sick these past few days and didn’t get better until today…  
> In any case, I really hope you guys liked this one! Please leave a comment if you did, it really makes my day!  
> Also, just a quick question for you guys: how do you feel about smut?  
> Let me know so I can figure out what to do in the future... ;D


	3. The Things We Don't Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone!  
> I just wanted to say a quick thank you to all of you who've commented and left kudos on this work! It really makes my day opening my email to find so much love from you guys!!  
> This chapter's a little shorter than the others, but it just felt right to end it there, I hope it doesn't bother you too much...  
> All in all, I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please let me know in the comment section below ;D

Wolfgang woke up at eleven thirty-seven p.m. with the buzzing of his phone on the nightstand.

There was an uncharacteristic weight over his chest, pressing on his ribs and numbing the entirety of his left arm. He opened his eyes and stared confusedly at long blond hair similar to his falling in almost too perfect curly waves over his skin, blinking the sleep off his eyes and pushing the body splayed over his gently until there was nothing connecting them save for the mattress covering their nakedness.

With a sigh, Wolfgang moved until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, rolling his back while taking his phone into his hands. There was one single message on the screen, containing simple instructions but no identification; just a short, vague assortment of words that Wolfgang knew exactly the meaning of.

**_Unknown number:_ ** _the transaction's done. deliver at the following address..._

At the end, there was the name of a neighbourhood and a street, but no house or apartment number whatsoever. Wolfgang groaned, but got out of bed anyway and headed towards the bathroom, turning the shower on.

The water was cold and unforgiving on his skin, but he paid it no mind and instead closed his eyes, feeling the muscles on his arms and back relax considerably. Then there was a pair of hands caressing his chest, and he looked up to see blond hair and a particularly large pair of tits facing him.

He vaguely remembered sharing a few drinks with the same woman that night, but had no recollection whatsoever of taking her home with him, much less having sex with her.

She- _Gretchen? Perhaps Brittany?_ \- smiled devilishly at him, but Wolfgang's mouth didn't so much as twitch. He wasn't really in the mood.

Ever since Kala's last visit he hadn't been in the mood for pretty much anything.

She came closer, running her hands through his chest and placing wet kisses along his neck. Her fingers travelled further down, and he groaned when she stroked his length unceremoniously. He felt himself go hard under her touch, but even as she went into her knees and took him into her mouth, all he could seem to think of was how she was not Kala, and how she felt completely wrong against him.

The woman left soon after the shower- he made it very clear to the women he slept with that he wasn't looking for any kind of commitment, so they knew better than to stay the night- and Wolfgang didn't bother to say goodbye, sighing deeply and tiredly, looking for his keys and wallet as well as the little cardboard box that contained what he'd hopefully be selling that night.

He'd been doing small jobs ever since the incident with his uncle. There were still people looking for him; associates of Sergei that didn't feel too happy about loosing their main source of money and drugs and who knows what else. Wolfgang was smart enough to know he wasn't completely off the hook just yet, but staying in hiding was simply not an option.

Felix was still in the hospital after all, and there was no way he'd be able to earn the exorbitant amount of money necessary to keep him there anywhere else.

So, his only choice was to turn to the illegal; something he'd been trying to walk away from for a long time, but that followed him wherever he went ever since his childhood.

Wolfgang crossed the street and walked hurriedly down the steps to the subway. He arrived soon after his train had left, and cursed loudly as he found a place to sit, waiting for the next one in the empty station.

That was when he allowed himself to think of Kala.

She'd been plaguing his mind like a disease, and Wolfgang was well aware of how distracting it could be. He'd started seeing her everywhere he went, wether because of the bond or not. She was in the smell of tea from Berlin's cozy coffee shops, and in the bodies of dark-haired, olive-skinned women he saw on the streets. Her eyes were in the black of his coffee; her smile in the hot spiciness of Indian dishes from his favourite restaurants.

His train arrived and he found a seat inside with an aching clench to his chest that had been bothering him for weeks now, perhaps even months. Sometimes, when he was busy enough and his head wasn't so plagued with curly dark hair- those times it became less apparent; almost silent, but still a quiet reminder that it was still there and that he wouldn't be getting rid of it so soon.

But then he'd think of her, or see her, or talk to her, and it would be back to haunt him, ringing like an alarm only he could hear; pounding loudly on his ears and chest along with the rate of his heart and making it almost impossible to bear.

Wolfgang felt a click on the back of his head and prepared for the worst; for _her_. She never came, though- or at least, not her.

Instead, it was Sun sitting beside him. Her blue jumper was smeared and dirty next to his jeans and jacket, and he felt a pang of sympathy momentarily overtake the pain within him. Her eyes were roaming their surroundings, and he could tell she was revelling in the flutter in her stomach every time the train took a sharp turn.

"It's been a while since I've been to the subway," she said quietly, voice rough and low from disuse. She'd been in solitary again this week, and he could see- hell, he could _feel_ just how much it affected her.

"I reckon it's been a while since you've been _anywhere_ , really," he countered with a twisted sense of humor- which she seemed to understand, because Sun snorted darkly beside him as they made another turn.

"You've kept me busy," she muttered in the same tone.

"Ah, so you've been keeping up with my life."

"It's not like I can turn it off at any given moment." This time she cast him a significant look, "besides, you look like you need some help."

His eyes met hers briefly as they approached another station, the light of the subway casting bluish shadows on both their faces. "Do I?" he asked; she shrugged. Wolfgang sighed, hiding a wince. "That bad, huh?" she looked at him in turn, eyebrows raised high on her forehead. It was enough of an answer to him. "What do you think I should do?" he asked after a few moments of silence, once their bodies were covered in darkness again and their expressions became barely visible.

"Probably stay away from her," she replied truthfully, because if anything, Sun was honest. Brutally so. He was glad it was dark enough that she couldn't see his grimace.

"Yeah, well... that hasn't really been working out, has it?" he countered.

"Perhaps because you haven't really been trying," Sun replied sharply, her words sounding more like a warning than a reprimand.

Wolfgang chose not to answer, standing up and heading for the exit instead. He'd reached a station far away from where he lived, where the streets were empty and dark despite the few street lights illuminating the path.

Sun followed him out, the only indication that she was still there being the faint press of her prison cell's walls on his back. Wolfgang crossed the street feeling her looming presence behind him, and leaned against a tall brick wall that was supposed to be his client's meeting point, reaching into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes and lighting one up in his mouth.

The smoke filled his lungs and rid his chest of the emptiness he'd been feeling previously. Wolfgang exhaled it through his nose and offered his cigar to Sun as he did. She took it with trembling hands, inhaling its smoke and closing her eyes in delight afterwards, her head rolling back until it touched the wall behind them. "God, I've missed these," she exhaled in a puff of grey as Wolfgang chuckled lowly.

"Keep it," he said after she took another long drag and tried to give it back, and the look she gave him almost made him smile.

Wolfgang stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling his skin grow cold under the midnight air, wishing the weather was hotter more often in Berlin. About five minutes later, a black car made a sharp turn a block away from where he stood, way over the street's speed limit, and came to a halt exactly in front of him. Wolfgang pushed away from the wall, still feeling Sun standing beside him- which was incredibly reassuring considering he never knew what the outcome of these exchanges would be.

The car's windows were dark in a way that made it impossible to see anything inside, and Wolfgang felt something in his stomach stir. From the backseat emerged two men dressed sharply- suit and tie and everything- whose faces Wolfgang couldn't really see in the dark and who stood out completely in the poorer neighbourhood they found themselves in. One of them was clearly the bodyguard, his bulky frame positioned protectively in front of who Wolfgang figured was his boss. "Be careful," he heard Sun whisper behind him, and nodded ever so slightly, trying to tell himself this was just another harmless transaction.

"You have your end of the deal?" the man's deep voice startled Wolfgang the slightest bit, and he nodded once before reaching into the hidden pocket of his jacket. He handed the box to the bodyguard, who opened it immediately to look at its contents. Three small diamonds glimmered under the yellowish street light above them, and the man behind the bodyguard scoffed, the sound sharp and menacing. "This is not what you promised me," he stepped forward and into the light, and Wolfgang tried his best to hide the look of complete horror on his face upon seeing the other man's features.

He _knew_ that man, there was no denying it. Back from when he was a boy and his father and uncle had him come along in their business meetings. His voice hadn't triggered any sort of memory, but the image of pitch black hair and the characteristic horizontal scar etched across his face was unmistakable. They'd met before- had even sat at the same fucking  _dining table_ , and just thinking about the cruelty in the man's eyes back then had Wolfgang's heart rate accelerating.

"It's what you paid for," he summoned all his strength to reply; jaw set and body stiff.

"You kids love fucking things up, don't you?" the man chuckled humourlessly in response, the sound making Wolfgang's breath hitch. He then shook his head, examining once more the contents of the box. "Luckily for you, I just lost my previous dealer, so I'll have to stick with you for the time being." He didn't seem to recognise Wolfgang's face at all, which was a relief. "Don't expect us to be so kind next time, though," the man slowly retreated into the shadows, walking away and into his car, followed by his bodyguard. 

Wolfgang refused to relax until the black vehicle disappeared around the corner. Sun had left sometime during the exchange, and he had to remind himself to thank her later for her company.

"Fuck," he cursed to himself as his feet carried him back towards the subway.

He was in desperate need of a drink.

  
...

  
Kala woke up with sweat trickling down her neck and back.

Her silk nightgown was wet and glued to her body when she sat on her bed, and as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of her room- or rather Rajan's parents' guest room- she could see it was still nighttime outside.

The wooden floor was cold against her feet as she tried her best to detangle herself from her husband's iron-clad grip, and she lifted her hands in front of her body to prevent from hitting anything on her way to the bathroom.

Rajan grew up in a house bigger than the one they'd bought after their marriage. It was filled with paintings and sculptures Kala was aware costed more than any member of her family could ever afford. The hallways were long and large as she exited her room, and her hands reached delicately for the doorknob even though she knew no one would hear her from downstairs. She'd decided not to use the guest bathroom, as it would probably make too much noise- not that it would've been a problem, since Rajan seemed to sleep like a corpse, only coming back to life once there was daylight streaming through the windows.

Kala closed the door behind her and sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She'd been having recurring nightmares the past week, and hadn't been able to make them stop no matter how long she meditated, or how many times she prayed before going to sleep.

Her hair was a mess, and the dark circles under her eyes didn't help. Kala was still sleepy as she went to turn off the lights and leave, but gagging noises coming from behind her kept her from going back to bed. She looked up to the mirror to see a figure dressed in a black jacket and dark blue jeans bent over the toilet, coughing furiously and gripping the ceramic with white knuckles. Her first instinct was to stand completely still, not knowing wether to run to their aid or away from them.

Then she caught a glimpse of blond hair and her heart seemed to make the decision for her.

In a few seconds, she was kneeling right next to the toilet, worry making her eyebrows knit together on her forehead. "Wolfgang?" she asked, voice shaky and barely a whisper as he coughed a few more times before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and looking up at her. "Are you okay?" His eyes were of a dark blue color she'd never seen before, and she gasped the slightest bit at how unlike himself he looked before putting a hand on his back to steady him.

"Define okay," his voice wavered a little and he sat on the ground next to her, hands supporting his weight behind him as he looked to the ceiling. "I'm fine," he said after she didn't say anything in return, "just had a little too much to drink." She relaxed considerably, shifting so she was sitting beside him, rubbing a hand along his back comfortingly- or so she hoped.

"What were you drinking for?"

Their eyes met briefly, "I don't know," he sighed, looking down instead as if in deep thought. She lifted her fingers to hold his hand and realised it was clammy and hot.

Kala frowned again, pressing her hand to his forehead and ignoring the confused look he shot her. "Wolfgang, you're burning up," she murmured sitting a little straighter and pressing her cheeks to his head instead, to be certain. "I think you have a fever," she informed him, to which he only grunted. He didn't seem all that surprised by her statement. "Where are you?" Kala looked around at the cramped little bathroom he was sitting at in Berlin.

"Home."

She nodded and stood up immediately. "Come on," she offered him her hand, pulling him to his full height and helping him out of the bathroom and into his room. The bedsheets were crumpled on both sides of the bed, and Kala tried her best not to dwell on it too much as she watched him lie down.

"Kala, I'm not crippled. I can do this myself," Wolfgang complained as she went to take off his shoes, but the look she shot him was enough to make him keep his mouth shut. She also helped him take off his jacket, folding it neatly and putting it inside his closet.

When she turned back to him, he looked almost fragile, though the thought immediately left her head as she observed the harshness of his features. His jaw was set and he looked rigid even as he lied down. "You should relax now," she said approaching him and stepping into his personal space as she sat beside him, propping her hand on the bed at the other side of his legs for support. "Try to get some sleep."

Wolfgang looked at her with an indecipherable expression on his face. "Why are you doing this?" he asked, and his question sounded so genuine that it made her heart squeeze painfully against her ribs.

"Because I care about you," she answered in a heartbeat, and from her tone of voice he thought she sounded almost offended. "I don't know how to stress this enough, Wolfgang, but this- our friendship," she tried to clarify, suddenly sounding very serious, "it matters to me." Her eyes looked soft and harsh at the same time. " _You_ matter to me," she emphasised, standing closer to him than she probably should; looking at him in a way that she probably shouldn't- and when she said that, the _way_ she said it... Wolfgang actually believed it.


	4. Because We Hope

Wolfgang was sick.

Runny nose, full on headache and high fever sick.

His bed was the only place he'd been to in two days, and his bedsheets had already acquired the shape of his body, almost morphing into his skin.

His fever had been coming and going, and he was afraid he'd have to throw away the shirt he'd been wearing as soon as he got better- Wolfgang didn't think he'd ever sweated so much in his entire life.

It didn't help that he was having trouble sleeping, tossing and turning all night and looking hopelessly at the ceiling whenever he realised his body would refuse any and every attempt to so much as nap for the rest of the night. He could only imagine how his face looked like, and winced every time the thought so much as crossed his mind.

Other than that, he'd been spending his time memorising the spots on the mouldy ceiling of his apartment and drinking painkillers whenever his aching head became too unbearable.

But the worst of all wasn't the fact that he was feeling like absolute _shit_ , or that he hadn't showered in what felt like a very long time. It was the fact that, for the two days he'd spent completely useless on his bed, Kala had been there too, visiting whenever she could, taking care of him like she would of her husband; of her child.

That last part was what bothered him the most. He'd been sick plenty of times during his childhood. There was this one time in particular that stood out to him, in which he remembered spending not days, but _weeks_ on a sickbed. It'd been the first and last time he'd been to the hospital, and yet it had been _Felix_ who'd taken him to the emergency; it had been _Felix_ waiting for him to wake up beside his bed- not his uncle, not his fucking _father_. Instead, Wolfgang's father had been furious. _"The Bogdanows can't afford the privilege of going to the fucking hospital"_ , he'd sneered. _Not when they're involved in illegal shit_ , was the unspoken statement shining in the angry glint of his eyes.

Back then, the only one that had stood by his side had been his fifteen year old best friend and no one else. So forgive him for not understanding why in the _world_ Kala would be helping him now.

At the moment, she was coming back from the kitchen with a bowl of hot chicken soup she had him order, slightly modified by her with medicinal spices and things she knew would make him feel better. She was wearing a light summer dress, perfect for Mumbai's hot weather, but showing far too much skin for Berlin's cold atmosphere. Wolfgang could see she was shivering slightly- the hair on her arms and legs standing every now and then- but couldn't make himself do anything about it. Not when her tanned legs were showing deliciously under her skirt, or when the curve of her breasts was visible whenever she leaned over him to check his temperature.

Wolfgang wanted desperately to feel guilty about such thoughts- he knew _she_ would certainly not appreciate them- but the feeling never came. It was replaced instead with a burning want coming from within him, radiating through his body, making him clench his jaw to try to hold on to what little self control he had left.

She was intoxicating, like the first rain drops falling from the sky after a drought; harmless at first glance, but completely lethal once you let it soak you.

"Is this okay?" she asked handing him the hot plate and waiting for him to taste the soup, shaking Wolfgang out of his reveries. He'd been zoning out a lot lately, and was pretty sure it had nothing to do with his fever.

"It's great," he mumbled roughly. He'd been feeling completely useless as of late, and that wasn't something he enjoyed. Wolfgang was used to the rush of being pursued. His body had grown accustomed to being on the run; danger having become something common in his life, and the feeling of being stuck inside of his apartment was starting to make his fingersand feet itch with the need to be on the move. The only thing good about him being sick was Kala, and he could admit wanting to stay sick for the rest of the year if it would mean she'd stay right next to him the whole time.

She smiled, and he felt the corners of his lips tremble as well, giving her this sweet, innocent little smile as if he'd not just been thinking of her breasts.

God, he hoped she wasn't getting any of those thoughts through the bond.

"Oh wow," Kala murmured from his bedside, sitting straighter than before and looking somewhere beyond him with wide eyes. "It's snowing," she said with an awed gasp, looking through the window with excitement resembling that of a child. If possible, her smile got even brighter, and she stood at once and scurried to the small opening on the wall. The snowflakes were still small and harmless- as they always were in the beginning of winter- and looked whiter than ever before when in contrast with her skin. She looked at him over her shoulder expectantly, the silent question in the glint of her eyes making him chuckle before he nodded slightly. It was all the encouragement she needed to grasp the old handle on the window and push it open as wide as she could.

Wolfgang watched as the cool breeze caught her hair and little snowflakes got stuck into her black curls; unable to pry his eyes away as Kala stretched her arm to try and catch the snow in her hands. Her smile was genuine and bright when she finally retreated from the window, hair slightly wet and body shaking noticeably from the exposure to the wind.

"You're the one that's going to catch a cold now," he said with both eyebrows raised and she merely shrugged, hugging her body as tight as she could as she watched him finish the last of his soup and place the dish on the nightstand. Then he glanced back at her, eyes boring into hers deeply in a way that only he knew how to, like he was looking far beyond the spectrum of color of her irises. "Come here," he mumbled before even he could stop himself, lifting the blanket away from his body to tap at the empty space beside him on the bed. The look she gave him was of complete uncertainty, and for a moment he almost grimaced, already regretting his words. But then she got up and started moving around the bed, settling beside him with a dip of the mattress.

Both their bodies stiffened considerably when her hand brushed past his knee, and Kala refused to meet his eye as she settled quietly beside him. 

There was only so much space between them, and he could feel his heart thudding painfully in his ribcage as he threw the blanket and comforter over both their bodies, joining them even further. Her knee was pressing gently against his thigh, and Wolfgang held back a shaky intake of breath as he looked at her again.

"Better?" he watched as she got comfortable beside him and tried not to concentrate on the feel of her skin against his.

Kala lifted her eyes to meet his and stayed several seconds that felt more like hours examining his face; from the curve of his lips to the slight feather of his eyelashes on his cheeks. "Yes," she whispered in a trance, and Wolfgang had to fill his lungs to refrain from touching her right then. Because she was incredibly close- _alarmingly_ so- and he was afraid of what he could and _would_ do if she kept looking at him like that. She seemed to realize this- wether because of the bond or the pained expression on his face- because Kala exhaled sharply and slowly bent her head so it was resting on his shoulder instead, pulling the covers closer to her chest. Looking at him was dangerous, she knew, but she couldn't help doing so. Especially when she never knew the next time she'd see him, touch him, _talk_ to him, and the desperate need to memorize each and every one of his features spoke louder than her better judgment.

It was only when Kala thought he'd finally fallen asleep- his head resting on top of hers, his breathing calm and silent- that he spoke quietly. "Thank you," he said, looking small and broken when she lifted her head to regard him. It took her a moment to realize what he was thanking her for- _for being there for him_ \- and Kala drew a shaky breath before answering.

"It's really nothing, Wolfgang."

"It _is_ ," he insisted, voice sharper than usual; more serious than usual. His eyes were boring into hers with an intensity she had never seen before, and she jumped a little when she felt his arm leave his side to encircle her shoulder and pull her closer. Her head was now cradled on his chest and her hand came up to rest on the curve of his neck when she felt his fingers caress her back almost... lovingly, and she regretted not being able to see his eyes as she heard him say with conviction and full of emotion, _"thank you."_

_  
..._

Kala liked to think she was a reasonable person.

Her parents had never had any exorbitant amount of money, and their bank accounts had always been humble compared to that of many of the people she knew, but they'd spared no expenses on her education whatsoever. She'd been to good schools- not the fanciest ones, but good nonetheless- and had learnt from great teachers. Even at home, her parents had made sure to keep those standards, if not to make them higher. They'd always taught her to be kind-hearted and generous; to be honest and to appreciate what their god Ganesha had given them, be it good or bad.

She liked to think she was following their teachings, and that she'd carried it with her until this point in her life, but that was getting harder and harder to believe; nearly impossible, lately.

Especially after she'd so innocently started spending time with Wolfgang.

She could admit to herself now that staying friends with him had been a bad, _bad_ idea. Even then, the thought that it could never work out had crossed her mind a few times, but she had pushed it away, tucked it safely somewhere in the back of her head where she knew it wouldn't bug her anymore.

Eventually, the idea had come out again to haunt her, but by then it was already too late. Though in all honesty, even before, when things were still uncertain between them, she had known that Wolfgang was in no way replaceable. She couldn't have gotten away from him even if she had wanted to.

They'd started off in this sort of weird relationship, one that defied even the physical laws of nature; that she had and _still_ did consider a miracle, and that had progressed into something none of them understood, but that both of them cherished. She didn't know how it had developed into something else- Kala didn't even know what that something else _meant_ \- but somehow he'd become important to her. The bond had been an active participant in it, but he had made his way into her heart on his own.

And now she was married, yet thinking about another man whenever she closed her eyes and pictured good things in her head.

The guilt was starting to eat her off from inside. Her wedding ring was small and light on her finger, yet her hand felt heavy from the weight of what it meant, what it had become; and every time her eyes caught the light reflecting off it, there was this hollow, empty feeling that crept up on her.

She'd gone so quickly from a state of complete bliss to one of absolute misery in the span of a few months, and it seemed to aggravate with each passing day; more so when Wolfgang got sick.

Kala had been well aware of how her proximity to him could be dangerous, but she hadn't thought twice before reaching out to him. And taking care of him then hadn't been the problem- she would have done it for anyone. No, the problem had been when a week ago, when he had already been feeling better and almost completely replenished, she _still kept coming back._

She hadn't known what had been going on in her head then, but it had sounded reasonable to be there for him- it had sounded _right_. For a moment, it had _felt_ completely right too to be wrapped in his arms, under the covers of his bed, smelling the heavenly scent of him and reveling on the feel of his skin connecting with hers.

And then they had come back to their own realities, back to the physical distance that separated them, and she had to remind herself of where she was; of who she was _with_. 

Throughout the week, all she could think of was how dishonest and unfair she was being. Not only to herself, but to Rajan and even Wolfgang. While her husband had no idea of the bond, or Wolfgang, or anything really, she realised he'd become aware of how distant she'd become, and that it made him sad other than irritated. She was causing him unimaginable pain, an her heart squeezed painfully at just how selfish she had been.

Wolfgang, on the other hand, was aware of her relationship, and had even tried to keep his distance. He'd been considerate from the very beginning, willing to give her space and understanding that asking her to stay would be asking too much. She'd insisted on them, though. She'd offered him something without a second thought of the consequences, to both her and him.

_She_ was the weak one; _she_ had been the one to inflict pain on others, and it was killing her slowly and achingly.

Kala could only wonder if Ganesha would ever be able to forgive her for such wrongdoings as she kneeled on the soft cushion of the local temple, palms pressed together almost pleadingly as she closed her eyes and allowed the background noise to fade.

"I've come again to ask for your forgiveness," she said slowly, whispering what had already become automatic. No one answered, as per usual, but she felt the wind blow stronger; felt the tingle of faith fill the emptiness in her chest and rid her momentarily of her pain. "I've done inexcusable things, Ganesha. Things you would not approve of." Kala lowered her hands to join them on her lap, sighing. "I've been unfaithful," she murmured, swallowing back a sob, pressing her eyes shut even further so not to let the tears slip.

Her breathing was shaky and shallow; her eyebrows joined on her forehead. Her shoulders shook the slightest bit as she clutched her own hands, knuckles white. "My husband is a good man," she continued, "he treats me and his family with respect, and he loves me." Kala couldn't control the sob that escaped her now, and as her lips quivered, she knew she wouldn't be able to hold the tears for much longer. "And for a while I thought I loved him too. When being engaged was the only important thing in my life, I actually did feel for him. But now things are so confusing..." she looked up, eyes open and glossy with unshed tears as she eyed the blurry image of the statue in front of her.

It's wide, animal-like eyes stared expressionlessly back at her, and yet she irrationally felt a tinge of judgement cross its inanimate face.

"I don't know what to do," this time she allowed herself to cry. She'd been containing it for a long time; had been trying to ignore the constant knot in her throat. The emotions had been piling up inside of her, taking a space in her mind previously occupied by the force of will to keep on with her life. She had no motivation to go on like this anymore, so she cried silently and painfully, paying no attention to whomever might be looking at her at that moment.

When she spoke again, her voice was high and unstable, "please help me, Ganesha," she broke down, shaking considerably now, feeling like the mess she was. Her hands came to wipe at her nose and she sniffed, face and eyes red from crying. The elephant-like figure in front of her seemed to loom over her body, embracing her into its unmoving arms. There was a sort of comfort from being in the temple, alone with her thoughts and her devotion. It was somewhere unrelated to either one of the men in her life; somewhere peaceful and familiar, and if anything, it allowed her to finally let out what had been bothering her. Ganesha was the only one she felt comfortable sharing all of her worries aloud with.

It was freeing.

"I don't know who I am anymore," she said feeling small and insignificant, and swore she felt something stir inside of her; something that helped ignite her fate, like a comforting touch to her shoulder or the soft warmth of an embrace.

Kala did not ignore it as she clutched her aching chest and cried until the sun was gone and the temple became empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, hello everyone! I've updated, yay!  
> To all of you who've commented and left kudos on the last chapter, thank you! It truly kept me inspired during this past week, which was definitely a stressful one for me...  
> I've had a few people ask me how often I plan on updating. The answer to that is I really don't know. I've never really stuck to a schedule, as I prefer to let my writing flow rather than to work on a deadline. I have lately been writing the chapters in the span of a week though, so I'll try to update every weekend at least; I hope that's okay with you.  
> Thanks again for the support; I promise to try updating more regularly!


	5. Fading To Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, everyone! I'm sorry for the delay! It took me a while to be able to get this chapter to go where I wanted, and I'm still not sure what I think of it, so please do let me know what's your opinion on this one...  
> Also, I feel like I must tell you, this one is pretty angsty... You have been warned!  
> In any case, I hope you like it, and thanks a lot for all the love and support you guys have been sending me!!

Will and Riley were in love.

It didn't take a genius to realize it, as if the bond wasn't already confirmation enough.

The thing was- they just looked at each other differently. There was something in the glint of their eyes; something bright and good that only they had, like there was nothing else they'd rather be looking at but each other.

They were in love and absolutely adorable around each other. There was an easiness in the air around them, and at that moment, when Will took Riley's hand in his own, guiding her towards a table at the corner of the small cafe they found themselves at, it was clear that they were actually _truly_ meant for each other.

She was smiling; that sweet, kind smile that only she was capable of showing off, and Will knew she was revelling in the feeling of their skin touching. They had been used to such small gestures before the whole Whispers ordeal- such little interaction.

Their relationship had been based off of fleeting moments then, and the simplest touch'd _had_ to be enough, even if it very clearly wasn't. There wasn't time to dwell on things such as love when their own lives were at stake.

But that had been before.

Whispers was gone; their troubles were _gone_ , and they were together now- both mentally and physically.

And if they'd described the sensation of being together through the bond as completely amazing back then; now... Now it was fucking _wonderful_.

It was the single best thing they'd ever felt in their entire lives.

And so they sat at their booth in the cafe and scooted closer- as close as possible. His hands were on her thighs and she held tight to them, as if he'd disappear into thin air if she didn't. Will looked at Riley and couldn't resist joining their lips affectionately, a smile playing on his own as she lifted her hand to cup his cheek.

There was almost no one in the little cafe except for a group of friends in another table and them, though sometime between making out and stopping to gather some much needed oxygen into their lungs, a third person appeared right across from them.

Wolfgang had never been one to judge any kind of public display of affection, but at that moment he felt utterly _disgusted_. The mere sight of the couple was enough to make him want to vomit, and he was already tired of doing so after the endless days he'd spent sick.

Somewhere deep inside of him, there was this tiny, almost imperceptible speck of guilt from feeling this way towards his friends. They were in love and happy- God knew at least _someone_ deserved to feel that way- but his own miserable self kept him from any kind of sympathy.

He was having a really bad day to say the least, and his displeasure with any and everything regarding love and romance was etched across his face despite his best efforts.

Not that he was _actually_ trying.

Wolfgang cleared his throat uncomfortably, looking anywhere but at the couple in front of him; breathing in deeply and thinking of something else in an effort to keep his bubbling panic and anger to himself.

Will was the first to look up, his eyes hazy and dreamy as they focused on the blond’s icy blue gaze. There was a moment in which he looked slightly startled, but soon his lips stretched into a smile, his hands leaving Riley’s for a moment to shake Wolfgang’s in a manly gesture the girl couldn’t help but roll her eyes at.

“Wolfgang!” she said excitedly after the exchange, and the man in question smiled tightly, looking pale and sick as he stared back at the couple in front of him.

He didn’t want to be there. He’d been doing just fine in the hospital cafeteria by his own. It had given him time to dwell on his life; had allowed him to think about the things he’d done wrong and how making them right wouldn’t change a damn thing in the grand scheme of his life. He was destined to suffering, that much was clear. It was fucking inevitable.

But the bond- that goddamn stubborn pull at the back of his head- apparently had other plans for him. So there he was, sitting in a booth with people he’d never seen in person before; looking the exact opposite of them with his ever-present frown and negativity.

“What’s wrong?” Will asked first, his expression immediately shifting; morphing into one of worry as his question burned Wolfgang’s ears and plagued his mind once again with things he didn’t want to remember.

Their two pairs of eyes stared at him expectantly, but instead of facing them, Wolfgang propped his elbows on the table and hid his head in his hands. _“Everything,”_ he said quietly and simply. He could feel his voice cracking; could feel the tough facade slipping away into vulnerability. There was an unspoken question in the atmosphere around them when Riley lifted her hand to place it on the blond’s forearm- both comfortingly and inquiring. He wanted nothing more than to leave, but somehow his mouth formed the words he spoke next. “Felix has gotten worse,” he croaked, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, feeling tired and drained and so fucking _done_ with everything.

Wolfgang suddenly felt his surroundings shift. They were no longer in the small, cozy café in downtown London. Instead, the walls surrounding them had an almost blinding white hue to them, and the air had a smell of bad food and coconut scented sanitiser.

They were in a private clinic's cafeteria, surrounded by people in mourning and by recovering patients strapped to wheelchairs, and Wolfgang felt the immediate urge to apologize. His friends’ evening had now been ruined because of him.

“What happened to him?” Riley asked almost hesitatingly, and he couldn't quite tell wether she was afraid of the answer or of his response to it.

“They say he’s in a persistent vegetative state, which is supposed to be good since he’s no longer at risk of permanent coma.” He paused for his own sake. Wolfgang was absolutely certain that he hadn’t had enough time alone to process the information, and he was pretty sure that spilling it to someone else was just helping worsen his need to throw up. "They detected a brain swelling this morning, though. He wasn’t supposed to have that anymore, not at this stage. They’re still not sure what to do about it,” Wolfgang stated, and there was no indication whatsoever that he actually understood what he was saying. His brain had been in shut down ever since he’d spoken with the doctor, and he felt he was only repeating the man’s words for his friends’ sake, unsure he’d be able to say anything for himself. “They don’t think he's going to make it through to next week,” he voiced the thoughts that had been bothering him ever since he arrived, hearing the waver of his otherwise steady voice; feeling panic and desperation set in his stomach and the sick nausea that came with it.

Hearing the doctor’s words had left him absolutely terrified, and dwelling on it by himself had been completely horrifying too, but saying it aloud felt much, _much_ worse. It felt like confirmation; like acceptance. Like his head had finally wrapped around the fact that he was living while his best friend- his _brother_ \- was fucking _dying_ while strapped to a hospital bed, and there was nothing he could do about it other than watch the life slowly drain out of him.

He heard Riley’s gasp and felt Will’s comforting hand on his shoulder before the whole world went blurry.

Wolfgang hated himself at that moment. He hated himself with every fibre of his being; with every jolting nerve and every painful breath he took.

Living had become a burden more than it was a gift.

And as much as he tried to tell himself everything would be okay, as much as he’d like to believe it, there was still this realistic side of him that saw things for what they truly were. It _knew_ that he was stuck being a spectator to his own live; observing himself and the others around him break piece by piece right in front of his eyes.

  
...  
  


Kala looked out the window and sighed at the drops of summer rain falling from the sky.

It looked like the world was ending outside, but she was far from afraid of it. The rain had brought some much needed humidity to Mumbai, and it felt somewhat refreshing to watch it fall in heaps from the dark clouds in the sky. There was something peaceful about the chaos of it; something inviting in the noise it made on the rooftop above her head.

That day was the day she and Rajan moved into their new house.

She'd been secretly fearing it for quite some time. Kala knew it was only normal for a recently wed couple to start living together- it'd be odd if they _didn't_ \- and yet there was a dreadful pull in her chest every time she so much as thought of it; one that she couldn't shake no matter how many times she told herself that it was perfectly fine.

Because deep, deep down, she knew it _wasn't_. She wasn't fine with moving out of her parents' house, wasn't fine with moving into an unwelcoming home, and wasn't fine with knowing exactly that: she wasn't okay with any of those things that should only feel normal.

Kala was used to being certain of things. Her life had been carefully planned out ever since she was a young girl, in the sense that she knew exactly what she wanted to do with it. She'd known she wanted to work with chemistry since the age of eleven, and had known she wanted to become a pharmacist since a very eye opening class she took at fifteen. She'd also known back then that she wanted to marry after she'd become successful in her career, and they'd start a family together after that.

She'd known she wanted all of those things for herself by the time she reached twenty-eight. She'd _known_ ; and yet she found herself being thrown against her will into something she now realised she couldn't give up.

Because of all the things she could have wished for, of all the things she thought she'd wanted, the one thing she hadn't predicted had turned out to be the best thing she had at that moment.

Which made coming into her new house even harder.

It felt as cold as last time, perhaps even more so. The walls were all painted now though, and the rooms had been professionally furnished to look like a designer's masterpiece. Kala couldn't shake the feeling that her brain was purposefully finding flaws in each and every part of the house just out of spite. The thought left as soon as it came when she walked into the master bedroom and felt a familiar stir in the pit of her stomach.

There it was, the place she'd be living in for the rest of her life; the place that was supposed to feel like a safe haven, but instead felt more like a staged scenario, not meant to be disturbed.

"It's wonderful, isn't it, Kala?" she barely registered Rajan's words, his voice sounding more like a distant buzz in her throbbing head.

"It's great," she replied weakly, wishing that their clothes weren't already neatly arranged in the closet; that their toothbrushes weren't already placed in a glass on the bathroom counter.

It was a rather gloomy Saturday that day. People were avoiding going out on the streets, and the few adventurers who did dare come out of their houses came back soaked head to toe. Kala knew she'd have to spend the rest of the day stuck in her new house, but at that moment she was glad she'd at least be spending it alone as Rajan would be going out to attend a few business meetings until late afternoon. 

She heard her husband's phone buzz in his pocket, and merely looked up at him as he loosened his grip on her hand to take the call. The soft expression on his face was replaced by a frown as he excused himself with a kiss to her forehead, and Kala immediately knew from the apologetic look he sent her that she wouldn’t be seeing any of him until much later.

Instead of dwelling too much on it though, Kala made her way to the backyard. It was equally as huge as the house and a bit too much for her taste, but it was one of the only parts of the house she found she could truly feel at peace. There was this particularly quiet area a few feet away from the pool, hidden behind trees and bearing a small greenhouse, and Kala was sure that had to be her favourite place to sit and be alone with her thoughts; something she'd been doing quite often while supervising the renovations.

It was still pouring outside, so she ran as fast as she could to the safety of the glass walls, closing the door behind her and feeling the warm and humid air from inside gently embrace her.

There were plants of all sizes and shapes inside, and she settled on the floor beside a vase of white roses her in-laws had given her and Rajan for their new home. The smell of nature did little to calm her nerves, but the minute she felt herself being transported somewhere else- to a familiar room with a dirty couch and mouldy ceiling- she immediately felt herself relax.

Kala got up slowly, shaking the dirt from her jeans and looking around for blond hair and kind eyes. She found who she was looking for in the kitchen, but when Wolfgang turned to her and their gazes met, all she saw was pain and hurt; a greyish hue to his previously light blue eyes that reminded her of the raging storm outside.

She didn’t have time to react- to ask what was wrong or to simply frown at his pained expression- because suddenly he was launching himself at her, closing the space between them and wrapping his arms around her tightly, burying his face on the curve of her neck like his life depended on it. Kala didn’t hesitate to return his embrace, encircling his waist and pulling him even closer, unsure of what to do or what to say.

It wasn’t until he started shaking, his breath ragged and quick in between sobs, that she realised something was definitely wrong.

If there was anything she’d learned from the months they’d known each other, it was that Wolfgang was definitely the toughest out of the two of them. He’d lived through too much; had been hurt too much throughout his life, and Kala had never once seen him break down like she’d done so many times in his presence.

So when she felt his silent tears soak her shirt and wet her neck, she knew something really, really bad had happened, and the pain she felt- although certainly not nearly as intense as his- was overwhelming.

Kala felt a mixture of fear and panic settle on the pit of her stomach as she tightened her grip on him, worry etched on her face as she wondered what on earth could have happened; tried to feel him under the thin fabric of his shirt to make sure he wasn’t hurt. “Wolfgang, what is it?” her voice came out shaky and grave, and she found she too was on the verge of tears. Her hands were trembling when she backed away from his touch the slightest bit in order to take his face into her hands and look into his eyes. His face was red as was the white surrounding his irises, and his lips were trembling, a sob caught on his throat that he wouldn’t allow to come out. “What happened? Are you hurt?” she asked again, voice slightly less altered, but her tone still carried a desperation non of them had ever heard before.

“No, I’m-“ he couldn’t make himself finish the sentence, but shook his head vigorously in return, taking a deep breath and swallowing visibly. “I’m fine.” Wolfgang looked down, his face still in Kala’s hand. She searched his eyes again, the panic in her stomach lessening as she caressed his face and ran her fingers through his hairline. “It’s Felix,” he said in way of explaining “he’s not well,” his lips started trembling again, and realising he was going to break again, Kala shushed him with a shake of her head. She took his hand in hers and walked with him towards the couch.

Before they could sit on it though, they were back in Mumbai, the daylight shining through the glass of the greenhouse; the smell of earth and life replacing the one of mould and decay of his apartment. Kala sat on the floor and pulled Wolfgang’s hand towards her, making him sit beside her.

Her hand never left his, entwining their fingers and pushing him to lie further down until his head was on her lap. His eyes were no longer filled with tears, but instead held a hollowness to them, sinking into their sockets and making him look much older than he actually was.

Wolfgang was looking at her with something akin to awe, and she smiled slightly, her fingers slipping from his hair and settling on his cheek. “You don’t have to tell me anything right now,” she said calmly, rubbing circles with her thumb on his hand and face. “Just try to relax for now. Try to get some sleep.”

He nodded ever so slightly, closing his eyes; shifting on the floor in order to get as close to her as he possibly could. He pulled their entwined hands closer as well, holding it dearly to his chest as his breaths evened out and Kala watched as his brows slowly relaxed from their frown; his mouth softened, no longer pressed into a thin line.

Minutes ticked into hours, and she observed the sky above them transform from a bright blue into an explosion of oranges and pinks and purples, illuminating Wolfgang’s blond hair and casting shadows on his nose and lashes.

Kala felt sleep claim her as well, and barely registered as she leaned down so their faces were mere inches apart, their mouths almost touching as she caressed his face one more time before returning to her previous position and letting her eyelids close and sleep claim her.

Later that day, when Rajan returned home and searched the gardens for his wife- which he knew were her favourite place- he found Kala gently leaning against the wall of the greenhouse, her hands on her lap and a small, almost imperceptible smile on her face; her breathing calm and quiet and, for once, _peaceful._


	6. The Last Laugh

"What do you think of this one, Kala?" her mother appeared from behind a rack of clothes holding a knee length dress with a floral pattern. Her eyes were beaming at her daughter as she waved it excitedly for her to see, and Kala couldn't find it within herself to end her bubbling happiness.

The dress was a bit too long, and covered way too much of her arms and chest for her liking, but her mother's smile kept her from frowning at it. They were out looking for clothes since the beginning of the afternoon, hoping to find a few items for Kala to wear on her honeymoon. It had already taken them a dozen stores and hours of walking around, but the search had turned out useless so far. Kala's feet ached and she could feel the little sweat drops trickling down her neck at their exposure to the sun.

The day was hot and unforgiving, and she was tired and couldn't wait to go home.

The past few weeks had gone by incredibly fast. What with the beginning of august approaching and therefore also her trip, Kala had been starting to feel a nervous itch take over her, adding to the uneasiness in her chest and her own insecurities about her life and marriage. It didn't help that her parents and in-laws couldn't seem to stop talking about their upcoming vacation, and Rajan had already started packing most of their clothes and belongings.

It also didn't help that she was constantly worried about Wolfgang.

After the terrible news the doctors had given him, he'd been gloomy and brooding. He only left his apartment when a job came up and to visit Felix in the hospital, making some sort of routine out of the miserableness of it, and she was sure he was doing it to punish himself, though he would never admit it.

As for his best friend, things had been pretty much the same. He was still alive, something the doctors did not expect at that point. Felix was still in a coma though, and no one knew wether or not he would wake up. His brain swelling had stopped, but not disappeared, and the doctors had said it was a miracle he was even alive to begin with.

Wolfgang had received those news a few weeks before, but the fact that Felix was still alive didn't help improve his mood in the slightest. If anything, it had gotten worse, though he tried not to show it. He often attempted to hide the sadness in his eyes- pretended that it wasn't there at all- but she knew better than that. Kala knew he blamed himself for what happened to Felix; she knew all about the guilt he felt whenever he visited his friend in the hospital- had felt it under her own skin whenever he did so- and it made her sad to the point in which she couldn't even tell if the emotion was hers or if it was coming from him.

It was like he was trapped in some sort of limbo, stuck between grief and self-loathing.

And she couldn't help but feeling completely futile when she thought of it; because in comparison to him, her problems were so entirely insignificant. While Wolfgang was surrounded by suffering and self hatred, she was worried about clothing and her upcoming trip. While he was contemplating the possible loss of his best friend, she was debating over what wallpaper would go well with the wooden flooring of her new living room.

She was still thinking about him when her mother shoved her inside the changing room, her hand appearing in the space between the curtains and the wall, clutching the dress she'd been raving about earlier on. "Try it on," she said, oblivious to Kala's thoughts and the slight frown gracing her features, "I bet it will look beautiful with the color of your eyes."

Kala sighed tiredly, rolling her eyes but taking the dress into her hands nonetheless, tossing it aside momentarily in order to take off her clothes. Her jeans were on the floor along with her shirt as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Her body looked the same it ever had. Her skin was still unblemished; her hair still a mess of long black curls. She still had the same slight curves and smallish hips inherited from her mother's side of the family, and her face hadn't changed at all from what she remembered, yet Kala felt different somehow. Her exterior was undoubtedly still the same, but she knew something inside her had changed drastically. She lifted her hands absently to rub at her chest- next to her heart. The spot itched subconsciously, but no matter how much she scratched it, it never subsided. It was as if her skin was a superficial layer; what was bothering her lied deep beneath it. It was rooted inside her chest in a spot she would never be able to scratch; in a place she knew no one would ever be able to reach.

Kala shook her head and reached for the dress. She was thinking nonsense. She pulled the thick fabric over her head and fumbled with it as her head got stuck in the wrong hole. It took her a few moments to get it right, and when she finally did, the image of herself in the mirror made her cringe.

Her mother had never been one with an eye for fashion. Kala had been aware that her idea of 'summer clothing' was of something that covered as much of the body as it possibly could without completely keeping her from breathing, and yet she had agreed to go shopping with her, only if out of pity.

The outcome was disastrous, to say the least. If the dress had looked constricting in the rack, it felt even more imprisoning in her body. Her entire neck was covered with fabric, and little to no air reached her legs underneath it. Kala scoffed audibly, forcefully opening the curtains in front of her so that her mother could see the mess she was.

"Oh, Kala!" she clasped her hands together with a brilliant smile playing in her lips. Her mother's hands went to straighten the wrinkles around Kala's shoulders, and Kala had to keep from rolling her eyes at it, "you look gorgeous!"

Kala sighed tiredly. "I am not taking this dress, mom." She said strictly, and her mother's smile faltered.

"Why on earth not? You look stunning, darling. I bet Rajan won't be able to control himself around you," her mother said and Kala felt a spark of desperation settle on her chest at the mention of her husband's name.

"It's too tight! Besides, it'll be incredibly hot in Italy," she tried to reason, "I'm sweating."

"Nonsense," her mother murmured, still holding her shoulders and looking at the dress. "Now take it off. I'm giving it to you as a gift." Her mother's tone was one of finality, and Kala sighed once again before reentering the changing room and fumbling once more with the fabric.

She was in the middle of discarding the dress- now completely naked save from the lace of her underwear covering her skin- when she felt the world spin.

The feeling was familiar, and if she hadn't been too busy untangling her hair from the zipper, she'd have noticed the environment around her.

Wolfgang was sitting at a far away booth in a diner close to home, his body sprawled on the vibrant red leather of his seat; his left hand thrown carelessly over his lap as his right one gripped what was possibly his fourth bottle of beer.

It was a little after noon in Berlin and probably way too early for him to be getting shit-faced, but he couldn't summon the will to care. Wolfgang could feel the soothing effect of alcohol taking over him already; his head feeling rather dizzy and his cheeks slightly pink from being drunk, and it felt fucking _amazing_ to be finally rid- if only a little- of the tight pain in his chest.

It felt amazing to not be reminded every second of every day that at any moment, he could find himself completely alone.

He lifted the bottle to his lips, letting it linger there as he examined the diner around him; tried to create a story in his head for the people surrounding him. Like how the man sitting on a stool with his hands typing furiously on his cellphone could be fighting with his long time girlfriend at that exact moment over something trivial like dirty dishes; or how the couple kissing fervently at a booth a little farther from his could be finally getting back together after months apart.

Wolfgang took a gulp of his beer, tasting bitter on his tongue as his eyes lingered on the contrast of dark skin and bright red lingerie of a woman looking completely out of place in the middle of the little restaurant, and then he chocked on his drink.

He was pretty sure he was starting to go insane as his coughing caught the woman's attention and she gasped, trying as best to cover her body as she spun around and looked straight at him; her eyes brown and wide and oh so familiar.

Wolfgang looked back at Kala and his eyes went so dark that she couldn't make out his pupils from his irises. He looked at her and couldn't help but let his eyes roam her entire body, completely sure that he looked ridiculous with his mouth slightly parted and his hand clutching his beer so forcefully he thought the bottle might break. He didn't even notice sitting up straighter; didn't understand if her being there was actually real or some kind of hallucination created by his drunk mind. Wolfgang wasn't really sure what was happening until they were transported to Mumbai and he was stuck in the confined space of Kala's dressing room, their bodies closer than they'd ever been without the barrier of her clothes.

She was pressed flush against him with nothing but the red lace of her bra, and Wolfgang felt his cock fucking _twitch_ in his jeans.

He wasn't going to be able to control himself this time. He fucking wasn't- he _couldn't_ with her looking like that.

Wolfgang cleared his throat, the sound reverberating through his chest as he watched her entire face go bright red with embarrassment. There wasn't much he could do, really. Actually, Wolfgang was pretty sure if he so much as moved the bulge growing in his pants would brush against her hips and he would be pretty much done with keeping his distance. So he merely looked down at his hands- looked anywhere but her, and to no avail. Because _fuck_ , the vision of her chocolate skin in contrast with the vibrant red of her matching panties and bra had his mouth watering.

Wolfgang _could_ blame it all on the bottles of beer he'd downed; but then again, a mere look in her direction already had him feeling sober. So he looked down and scooted as far away as he could from her, listening as her breath caught in her throat and she started buttoning up her jeans.

Kala's heart was beating like a drum inside her chest, in a way that she felt her ribs could barely contain it. She was feeling incredibly self-conscious as she threw her shirt over her head and tried to slow her breathing, looking at Wolfgang's bowed head from the corner of her eyes the entire time.

The situation was awkward enough as it was, especially because none of them was actually saying anything, but when Kala's mother spoke from the other end of the curtains, she had to remind herself that talking _really_ wouldn't be a good idea at that moment. "Kala, I don't have all day, honey. Come on out so we can get going."

Wolfgang locked eyes with her, and she could see he was trying to contain his smile. She wanted to scoff at his face, but then he started laughing quietly to himself, closing his eyes and chuckling lowly, and she was dumbstruck for a moment.

It had been too long since she'd heard him laugh. She'd even forgotten how it sounded like, and just how young he looked when he did so. It stirred something within her and helped lift some of the weight from her chest. Wolfgang laughed and she felt a little lighter; a bubbling happiness resurfacing from the depths of her heart, and soon she found herself holding back her laughter as well.

Her hand went to cover her mouth when she couldn't contain a giggle, and Kala playfully shoved his shoulder when he started laughing louder.

Wolfgang looked up at her with mirth shining in his eyes, clutching his belly as he laughed it out.

"I'm coming!" Kala said back to her mother and then her eyes found Wolfgang's. His smile never left his face as he stood up again, stepping into her personal space as he did so.

Kala was used to being close to him. She was used to the touch of his hand on hers and the feel of his his arms around her as she lied with her head on his chest.

This, however, felt much different than that. Wolfgang's eyes were still dark and intense, and it came to her that this kind of close was definitely not an innocent one. Far from that really, and for a moment she actually thought he was going to kiss her. She thought he was going to lean even closer and allow their lips to touch how she knew he desperately wanted to; and for a fleeting, dreadful moment, Kala thought that she would have done absolutely nothing to stop him.

...  


_"Ando bien pedo_ , Hernando..." Lito mumbled incoherently from his couch, his head rolling back in a way that made Daniela think it was not connected to his body. She giggled beside him.

"You two should have taken easy on the Tequila," Hernando replied. He felt slightly dizzy, but out of the three of them he was by far the most sober. It was the second night in a row that they'd been out drinking. Hernando had never felt more like shit.

Looking at Lito from a distance, he could see that his boyfriend was feeling the same way. There was a hint of sadness in his gaze. He had known nothing would be the same after the scandal with the pictures and the press. Lito had done the right thing by helping Daniela, and it had filled Hernando with happiness and pride to see his boyfriend go against everything and everyone to endure the safety of their best friend.

He was already past that, though. He could see that the whole ordeal had hit Lito hard, and it made Hernando incredibly sad to see the consequences of it all. It was not just his career that had suffered the impact, but his personal life as well. Hernando could see it was killing Lito to have to wake up everyday and find himself fighting against people’s prejudice. It didn’t help that the job offers had become fewer, and that Lito had been starting to lose some of his positivity and enthusiasm for things he used to enjoy.

“I’m going to make something for us to eat,” Hernando said as he moved to the kitchen.

“Oh, yes, I’m _starving!”_ Daniela stretched on the couch with a smile playing on her lips. They were at a new apartment. It was much smaller than their previous one, but options were scarce, so it would have to do for the time being.

Lito got up tipsily and concentrated on putting one foot after the other in order to get to his room. “You guys can start eating ahead,” he tried to say despite the numbness of his lips and tongue. “I’ll be there in a second.” Hernando looked up from the kitchen counter and frowned at Lito’s retreating figure. His shoulders were slumped and he was dragging his feet. He knew he should probably intervene, but he was aware all his boyfriend wanted at that moment was to be alone, and he felt he had to respect that. If not for Lito, then for his own good. God knew what he was capable of with that much alcohol on his system.

The main bedroom was dark when Lito opened the door. He punched the wall a few times in order to turn on the lights, and it took him six tries to finally hit the switch. Then it was suddenly too bright, and he lifted his hands above his head to shield his eyes from the clarity.

There was a little balcony on the left side of the room, and Lito approached it with a nostalgic pang to his chest.

_God_ , he missed his bathtub.

He sat on the floor in between the sliding glass doors and the grading, occupying almost the entire space of the balcony, and breathed in the cold night breeze. It felt refreshing to be able to sit there and actually be outside without having to constantly worry about who might see him.

Lito hiccuped twice and allowed his head to touch the wall he was leaning on. He was tired, but didn’t want to sleep. He wanted freedom but wasn’t strong enough to seize it.

It was then that the world started spinning.

At first it felt like an after effect of the booze. He never really had a great relationship with tequila. Then Lito realised it was something else when another body appeared in front of him, sitting in the same position but leaning against the wall opposite to him.

“Hey, mate,” Wolfgang said drowsily, his voice low and his speech slurred. They both seemed to be in the same drunk state of mind.

“Ah, it’s been a while, hasn’t it _hermano?”_ Lito smiled slightly, never leaving his position. Their eyes connected and Lito immediately knew his friend wasn’t feeling so good either. _“¿Qué pasa?”_

“I’m fine. You?” Wolfgang replied, though they both knew he was far from it.

“As good as it gets, unfortunately.”

Wolfgang looked around him. His eyes travelled past the glass doors and into Lito’s room. “Nice flat.”

Lito laughed. “You should’ve seen the other one, then.”

After that they fell into comfortable silence. There wasn’t much need to say anything, after all. Not when they both knew what was going on inside each other’s heads.

It appeared that the bond understood them more than they understood themselves.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Wolfgang spoke first, his voice low and yet filling the entire atmosphere around them as opposed to the silence they previously found themselves surrounded by. “Whenever I’m feeling like this, I always end up being transported somewhere else,” he explained, and Lito agreed with a nod.

“It _is_ interesting,” Lito looked up at the blonde in front of him, but his eyes seemed to stare way beyond the blue of his friend’s irises. “I sometimes wonder what it would be like not to feel like this anymore,” he admitted, and shook his head with a humourless laugh. “I don’t think I’d be where I am right now if it wasn’t for it.” It was true. Lito probably would have reached rock bottom if not for the bond.

“I don’t think I’d be _alive_ if it wasn’t for it,” Wolfgang laughed, and they both stared at one another for a long time before Lito spoke again, this time completely changing the subject.

“You should fight for her, you know?” Wolfgang didn’t have to look at him to understand who he was talking about. “I see the way you look at each other. It’s not one sided,” he said, but Wolfgang remained silent. His words had caused the ache on his chest to resurface; caused the thoughts he was trying to avoid to come back to haunt him.

There had been no mention of love from Lito’s part, but Wolfgang felt the urge to spill the word out; felt it crawling up his throat and curling around his tongue like and unsaid prayer.

“I think it’s a little more complicated than that,” Wolfgang said quietly, only because he felt like he had to say something. He had the urge to cover his face with his hands, but kept from doing it by balling them into fists.

“It’s always complicated,” Lito brushed him off with a shake of his head. “Honestly, when I realised I was in love with Hernando, my first thought was to run as far away from him as I possibly could.” There was a glint to Lito’s eyes that hadn’t been there before. The memory of it had reminded him of just how lucky he was, despite it all. “It was long after we were already together that I finally started seeing things clearer. It took me years to understand that my career was asking something of me that I could not give up, and that thing was my happiness.” Lito smiled fondly, and Wolfgang fel his own lips start to tremble. “In the end, I gave up everything in order to be next to the love of my life…” he sighed. “Can’t say that I regret it,” he finished, satisfied with himself and his little speech.

Wolfgang felt something inside him stir. It was small and he couldn’t really tell where it was coming from, but it was there. It didn't feel familiar, but he recognised it. He’d felt it before. It was something that reminded him of curly dark hair and kind doe eyes. Something that he immediately associated with Kala because it was her that first provided him with it.

That thing; that addictive, painfully appealing feeling was _hope._ It filled his lungs and eased the tightness on his chest with the promise of something brighter, and Wolfgang immediately knew that he desperately wanted it for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my lovelies! I am so, so, so sorry for the delay! My weeks have been so busy lately that I barely found time to write anything at all, and it didn't help that I had a huge writer's block.  
> But now I'm back with full force (hopefully) and am here with another chapter for you guys. I reckon this was kind of a filler chapter, but expect lots of surprises for the next one. Things are definitely going to start heating up...  
> As for this story, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I don't plan to make it too long. I'm thinking 12, 13 chapters tops, so hopefully that will be okay with you.  
> Also, please excuse my spanish. I can speak a little bit of it, but if there's anything wrong with what I've written here, please do let me know.  
> I hope with all my heart that you enjoyed this one, and I'll see you soon with the next one! Thanks for all the love XD


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